Up and Down and Back Again

UP : I experienced an almighty high during the Theakston's Crime Writing Festival last month. It wasn't just the usual buzz from meeting my favourite authors, catching up with old and new friends, or revelling in the excitement that permeates Harrogate each year.

No, this high came from a successful Dragons' Pen experience. I stood up in front of 40 other students, a dozen authors and of course, the Dragons (two agents, one publisher and an editor) and pitched my novel. It went well, with both agents and the publisher putting their hand up for more. I was first to pitch and the only one to bag interest from both agents - result. The rest of the festival, I floated a foot off the ground, smiling from ear to ear.

DOWN: The following Monday, I fine tuned my synopsis and first chapter, then, holding my breath, I sent it off to my chosen agent and the publisher.

A week later, I received comments. I would be lying if I didn't say I expected glowing praise and a three book deal. Honestly, I think most people would. No one has read my novel yet (it's not complete) but I think its good and the pitch went well, so I was quite positive. Until someone tells you differently, you always think you are a star performer.

The comments that came back were constructive but mainly of the "needs improvement" variety. The critiques were professional and forthright (which I appreciate) but they did cut deep to the bone. There weren't too many positive statements that I could hang my hat on.

There is a horrible feeling when someone reads your book for the first time and doesn't like it or thinks it doesn't work. You shiver; you feel sick. It's worse when you haven't even finished. Output dries up; inspiration goes walkabout. As much as you believe you are the star performer, part of you also thinks your work is a steaming pile of crap. If the latter is reinforced, even subtly, the world comes crashing down. To progress, you need to find something to pull you up.

BACK AGAIN: I've been given a second chance, another go. The agent will look at a second attempt at the synopsis, as long as it is my best work. This brings with it even more anxiety -what if the second attempt is no better? Could I bounce back from that? But what pushes all of that down is the fact that I have been given a great opportunity to show what I can do and a chance to impress.

And that is enough to pull me back to the computer and start writing again . . .

The Aspiring Author Speaks!

Just over a month ago, I received an email from Ann Chadwick, who has been commissioned to re-write the Theakstons Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival website. As you may know, the festival, previously called the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival, is the must attend event of the year. It's the case for me and many others in the crime writing industry, whether they be published authors, budding writers, agents, publishers or fans (or sometimes a combination of the above). This is an event not to be missed.

Ann's new content for the website includes interviews with established authors of the genre, but she was also interested in speaking with aspiring authors and my name had been put forward, sourced from my attendance at the Creative Thursday events at the last two festivals.

I was delighted and more than happy to answer Ann's questions about the dreams of being a full time writer, the benefits of writing classes such as Creative Thursday, and any tips I might have for other budding authors.

I happened to check the website out today (looks great BTW!) and found that my interview has been posted! Check it out HERE!! Very happy with the results and absolutely stoked that I was able to contribute, in some way, to this wonderful festival.

Check out the rest of the website too - Ann has done a stellar job. There are other interviews, including those with authors Mark Billingham, Val McDermid, Laura Wilson, Kevin Wignall and Simon Kernick, as well as fan file interviews with some of the fans that are regulars at the festival in Harrogate (many of whom are budding writers in their own right (and are BTZ members to boot!!)).

Thanks again to Ann Chadwick for the interview and allowing me to contribute to the website, and thanks to Erica Morris for suggesting me to Ann in the first place.

And, just to let you know, I will be attending the festival again this year, including Creative Thursday, so I hope to see you there!

I Feel A Draft

I announced it a few weeks ago on Facebook: I've finished the first draft of my book.

It was a great feeling, typing "The End" into my manuscript; a feeling of achievement and satisfaction. Two and a half years ago I began writing this behemoth of a novel; two and a half years of intermittent writing, frustration with mediocre volumes of output, and moments of brilliance and clarity. From a germ of an idea formed in the early morning hours to typing those two words: it has been a long journey.

It's never just been about proving to myself that I can do it though, my ambitions extend beyond that, but completing the first draft has always been a major goal, appearing insurmountable at times, but, deep down, always achievable.

And I've done it. And I'm happy with the result.

My goal is still to have a finished product (fit for submission to agencies) by the Harrogate Festival in late July; a deadline fast approaching. The achievement of completing the first draft is already a distant memory, but as I wade through the second draft, it's still a memory that energises me each day I sit down at my computer.

I'm not naive enough, though, to not know that completing the first draft is only the half of it: draft after draft, alteration after alteration, the dreaded first read by someone other than yourself, and the mountain to climb towards publication, constitutes the hard work ahead of me. Hard work ahead and the continuing rollercoaster ride of emotion that every writer goes through.

Ultimately, there will be a great feeling of satisfaction and jubilation when the final draft is done and sent off to my chosen agents, but it will never match the pure joy and feeling of accomplishment, devoid of the anxiety of failure or critique, that is felt when those two words are written for the first time.

Something to savour for a long time.

It's Over But The Writing Continues . . .

Fifty thousand words and thirty days later: NaNoWriMo - done.

It was an immense challenge, but I surprised myself with my commitment and planning, ensuring that I kept up the word count, meeting and exceeding my daily quota of words on a regular basis. I also proved to myself that a regular writing schedule can be squeezed around a full time job, which has always been a big hurdle for me. In addition, not only did I develop some good writing habits, I took a big step forward towards finishing the first draft on my novel.

The writing doesn't stop there, though. I still have my target of finishing this first draft before dawn on the 19 December. The challenge is to keep the momentum going without the fun of a contest or without that feeling of camaraderie with other writers that is experienced during NaNoWriMo.

I'm doing it a little different for December too. I'm not aiming for the same word count each day because I don't want to rush the intricacies of the final quarter of the book. Instead, I have a goal of 90 minutes of writing a day. The first few days of December made me quite proud; despite a busy schedule at work, I met my 90 minute goal and exceeded 2,000 words in each sitting. The rest of the week has been a debacle due to increasing work commitments; no time spent on writing. Some catching up is required but I feel confident that I can do that over the next two weeks.

NaNoWriMo was a very beneficial experience and I learned a lot - as I suspect everybody participating did - so congrats to everyone else who took part - well done! Looking forward to next November.

Elsewhere on the planet, news of the Harrogate 2009 lineup has been published and for me, the highlight is the attendance of George Pelecanos. He would have to be one of my favourite authors, if not the favourite. His novels are a pleasure to read and are super cool. He is such a great guy too. The last time he was at Harrogate, he gave some inspiring words of advice that helped me kick start my novel and get over the fear of tackling such a big project. That advice was given to the general audience, so I hope I'll be able to sneak in a five minute chat with him at the bar next July, one on one. Quite an exciting prospect.

I'm not alone here: the ladies, especially those on Mark Billingham's forum, have their own reasons for getting excited about Mr Pelecanos's attendance: