days in a row

The key thing missing from my writing recently is writing. A consistent output of writing. I can't remember a period of time greater than two days in a row where I spent time on my novel.

The advice given from anyone and everyone, including myself, is to write everyday, no matter how little you plan to do each day. It's good practice, it keeps you immersed in the story, and it ensures that your novel is always moving forward to its completion.

It's taken me six years to get where I am - but if you added up the number of days that I've sat at the computer or with a notepad to work on the novel, I would doubt it would be more than a year's worth of work. That says something - and I'm not getting any younger.

Fifteen minutes a day sounds realistic.  So my goal is at least fifteen minutes a day for the next 100 days starting from yesterday, the day after the harrogate festival.

From one day to the next ... to completion.

that feeling . . .

I'm getting that feeling again, that excitement that comes once a year, that urge to write, the belief that I could write 100 novels - and it's all because of this:

my National Novel Writing Month

It's November (again?!) and that can only mean one thing - NaNoWriMo!!! Or for those not in the know - National Novel Writing Month. This is the month when everyone in the whole world sits down and tries to write 50,000 words of a brand new novel in one month. Well, everyone who wants to anyway.

I performed this mean task back in 2008 to much success and I thoroughly recommend it to any budding or established writer out there. It's fun too - in retrospect.

I don't know too many people doing it this year, but I do know that my friend Heidi is giving it a crack - so best of luck Heidi!!! And good luck to everyone else too!

As for me, despite the title of this post, no, I am not involved in NaNo this year. However, my November will be filled with writing and novels as well - just not on a national scale.

What's up then? Tell me more.

Well, this month, I will be working my guts out to complete a draft of my novel for my in-house editor by November 23. I have decided that she needs to read it, even if I am only 80-90% happy with it. It's about time someone other than me read this monstrosity!!! And a monster it is too. So fingers crossed on that one.

On non-related news, I still plan to add my Ibiza diaries to the webisphere - currently waiting on Day 6 - but it looks like they will form part of a whole new project that I will release shortly.

Can't keep up writing one blog? Why not try two?!

update on the world of doing not much

I'm writing this update in between tasks at work, which is quite fitting given the last seven months of my life. In fact, if I write this blog entry at the same words-written-in-novel to hours-spent-on-day-job ratio, I should finish it in about three weeks time.

Yes, I've been busy at work and I've been neglecting the book. Work pays better, but sucks out both time and creative juices by the bucket load. The book gets a look in on very rare occasions, like a parent in an old folks home. As with the neglected parents, guilt builds up every moment I'm not attending to the book's needs and wants. But the job that pays my salary and allows me to enjoy cereal for dinner when I get home from work at ten at night has to take precedence. Here endeth the excuse.

"So does that mean the novel isn't finished yet?" I hear you ask in a frustrated tone and with a clenched fist. Well, yer, it ain't finished. Not far off, but still plenty to do. Currently working through the second draft which requires a full rewrite of the first 5 chapters - after that, things should move more quickly. My aim for publication by 2015 is still on track.

P.S. My parents are not in an old folks home; in fact, they are more likely to be in a campervan, travelling across the Aussie outback!

the horror

I previously announced I was "Back". Back to working on my novel after three weeks of picking up the pieces of my shattered confidence. Back in the swing of things.

That's not entirely true, not yet anyway. The last two days I have looked at my desk or thought about writing and felt a twinge of deep rooted horror. And stepped away.

The source: a disastrous two hours of writing that occurred about two weeks ago, during my "Down" period. For two hours, I worked on my synopsis, encouraged by a second chance received from the agent who selected me in the Dragons' Pen at Harrogate Festival. She had critiqued my first attempt as part of the event, concluding that my work wasn't up to scratch, but kindly allowed me to submit a second effort.

Two hours, I sat there. Two hours working on my synopsis. Two hours and going no where.

My problem: I was stuck on the opening sentence. Everything I tried didn't work for various reasons: too vague; too wordy; inaccurate; or just plain rubbish. There was no happy ending either. After the two hours of pulling my hair out writing sentences and deleting them just as quickly, I gave up. And haven't been back since.

The horror of that late afternoon two weeks ago has stuck with me, making it difficult to return to my study and the blank page.

It's time to take my own advice, which is as follows:

In these circumstances, you just have to accept that you're in a bad place with your writing. Accept it and get on with it. The only way out is to write your way out. Keep tapping away, keep deleting the rubbish, and keep trying to get it right. There's no other way.

So tonight, without preamble or forethought, I am booting up the old Dell and starting my journey Back on that rollercoaster ride to publication.

"All Work And No Play . . ."

I've come to the end my week as a quasi full time writer. Seven days of wall-to-wall 2nd draft shenanigans (with one day off in between to experience what it's like to step outdoors and feel the sun, wind and rain on my face).

All in all, it was a very successful experience. At times it was sublime, other times frustrating, but overall it was something I enjoyed. Yes, my dreams of being a full time writer have not been shattered by endless hours of sitting in front of a computer, not speaking with another living soul, and living off packets of Cheese Doritos.

However, there were a few items noted for improvement for my next foray into full time writing:

- A bigger and better computer. Not to hurt the feelings of my Dell laptop bought back in the heady days of 2004, but staring at a petty 17inch screen for too long ain't good for the old noggin. The Nurofen had to be cracked open a couple of times to erradicate severe mind cramp.

- A reduction in hours worked each day. Some may say 7.5 hours a day is a bit pissweak, but I found I had no time to do other things, like leaving the computer to experience that funny thing they call LIFE. There was a two day stretch there where I hadn't left the house; I found myself talking to bees outside my window and wearing tissue boxes on my feet.

- A comfy chair. Not necessarily a deluxe leather super comfy chair but something that doesn't have a wooden back or a seat that contours to the ass of someone who sat in it in 1979.

Other than that, it all went very well. Thirty nine hours of rewriting and reviewing, 20% of the way through the 2nd draft and, as can be seen from the Noise Reduction meter, nearly 20,000 words culled from the manuscript.

A long way to go but a very, very successful week - both in output and experience.

As celebration, on my last day, I ate a large Pizza Express American Hot pizza and garlic bread right before bed. I read an interview with Jack Nicholson about the making of The Shining from an issue of Empire and then hit the sack. That night, the pepperoni taking its toll on my digestive system, I dreamt that I had looked back on my week's worth of writing and found the manuscript consisted of only one sentence, repeated over and over:

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy."

Reality was, I hadn't written anything that good.

The Full Time Writer

The Full Time Writer: a long way off for me, but from tomorrow for six days, I will get a sense of what it feels like. In order to make significant inroads into my second draft, I've decided to take four days off work and hit it full time. My plan is to work seven and a half hours a day, the minimum amount of hours to do my day job. Yes, as the great writers say, you've got to treat it like a job, and that's what I plan to do.

Besides using the time off to catch up on getting this second draft done, the next six days will give me an opportunity to see what it's like to be doing this gig full time. I'll get a chance to find out whether I can sit in front of my computer and write for complete days, instead of the one or two hours I catch here and there. Good opportunity to experience the daily grind of the full time writer firsthand - definitely worth giving it a test run given it's a major goal in my life.

Of course, there will be established authors out there saying that being a full time writer isn't just about writing. And I agree - there's book tours, festivals, signings, radio and TV, blogs to update, fan emails to answer, editors, agents and publishers to meet, and all the other commitments a writer has these days. I recognise that I can't really experience those things yet - all that will be a separate challenge when the time comes, but at least I will get a chance to see if I enjoy or loathe the writing process on a full time basis. 'Cause if I don't like that part of it, the rest of it won't mean a thing.

This little exercise raises a few intriguing questions - what if after these next six days, I absolutely hate the full time writer malarkey? What if I yearn for my day job, sitting in the front of the computer, playing with spreadsheets and numbers? What if I can't take the pain? Will I give up?

Nah, probably not. But hey, it's a good excuse to post a series of blogs about the experience - and it's worth it just for the possibility that I'll stand up from my desk on Monday night and scream - I WANT TO DO MORE OF THIS!!!

The Reduction of the Steaming Pile of Words

In a flurry of activity, the second draft began: powering through thepages; words culled left, right and centre; word count dropping fast.

Or not.

Since I completed the first draft to my novel, not a lot has happened. I managed to detail all my chapters on index cards, allowing me to see the whole picture and easily make changes here and there. I'm finding it very useful, but unfortunately, it's not a lot to show for almost a month's work.

Why the slow down in productivity, especially with late July fast approaching? Work. The full time paid variety. Yes, that old chestnut. Yesterday was the first day in a fortnight I've actually sat down at my computer. My day job has become my night job as well. Not ideal, but not the end of the world either. Things have quietened down now, so I will be taking a week off in mid-May to play catch up - a game I've mastered over the years.

The first task for Draft Numero Deux is to reduce that big steaming pile of words you see there on your right under "Noise Reduction." Two hundred and seventy words is just too much (you think?!). So a culling we shall go. Watch with intense concentration and wild glee as that figure reduces over the next month - bottoming out, hopefully, at 160,000 words.

If I can't get the word count down, I will instead release two books - Steaming Pile of Words - Part One and Steaming Pile of Words - Part Two. If it worked for Steven Soderbergh, it can work for . . . oh wait.

Sins Of The Novelist

I can't remember where I have read this or who may have told me, but there are two sins that I've always believed should not be committed when writing the final chapters of a novel:

1. Introduce new characters.
   
2. Change narrative perspective.

The first one I believe is so as not to cheat the reader - for example: "I've been leading you along about Francis being the murderer; it was actually Johnny from down the road, a character who I haven't mentioned once before in my entire novel, but hell, he's as good as anyone to pin this confusing convoluted plot of a murder on and it fills those nasty plot holes I've managed to dig for myself."

It's a cop out and it's not fair. It's lazy, it's mean and it makes for a wholly unsatisfactory ending for the reader.

The second sin is less of a deal breaker, although it isn't necessarily good form and it stinks of poor writing and it is still kind of a cop out. You've written four fifths of the novel from Gary's perspective (third person, first person, whatever) and then you switch to Rodney's perspective in the last three chapters. Not only is it confusing for the reader, but it's also a bit disorientating and it messes with the flow. The readers have invested time with Gary, read about his thoughts and feelings, been there with him through the good and bad times, taken a journey with him. Now Rodney turns up, talking in your head, giving you his opinion. Who does this Rodney joker think he is, hijacking the narrative?

Grumpiness, followed by disconnection, followed by book in bin.

Hmmm, very sinful . . . .

Well, forgive me Father, for I have sinned. But hell, I think it works! I've committed the sins above but nowhere near the two-fingers-up-to-the-reader atrocities of the examples above. I definitely haven't cheated the reader. I still think the novel flows. But hey, time will tell.

And that time is fast approaching. As I type this, I only have four more scenes to write in the first draft of my novel. Exciting times and about time too. Saturday will be dedicated to those four scenes; Saturday night will be dedicated to celebrating.

I might just pop open some bubbly to celebrate or at least have one or two beers at the pub. I might let the hair down, go a bit wild. That's the exciting thing about sins, you never know which one you'll commit next. And there's loads of fun in the committing.

Dirty Plates, Creased Shirts, and Mince

I was washing the dishes yesterday when the answer suddenly came to me - a solution to a problem I was having with my book. It was a pretty bloody good solution too, if I may say so myself.

I was having issues with the plot; one scene in particular which occurs very close to the end of the book. The scene had to be bloody, nail biting, sneak-a-peek-between-your-fingers type stuff. But it also had to portray a pivotal moment for two of the main characters.

The problem was this: I knew how I arrived at the scene and I knew how I wanted to leave it, but bugger me if I knew what went on in between. I've found you really can box yourself into a corner sometimes, plot wise, and finding a way out can prove difficult.

Anyway, I decided to step away, take a break and let the mind sort out my conundrum while I performed menial household chores like washing the dishes.

And it worked. At the time, I was very, very pleased with the solution that I had come up with.

I finished up the dishes, returned to my computer, and sketched out a rough plan for the scene. Reading back over it, I smiled and deemed it pure gold.

Stepping away from your novel helps a lot, especially if you find yourself in a sticky situation. Sometimes typing your way through it can work, letting the fingers run free, trusting in the magical power of prose that you have at your fingertips. However, more often than not, it can be difficult to arrive at a solution while sitting in front of your computer, staring at the words (or lack thereof) on the screen. Shutting down the computer for an hour and concentrating on something else can do the trick. The subconscious mind is an amazing thing; while you are mopping the floor or completing your tax return (ahem, 31 January people), it can busily and quite happily piece the puzzle together and work out the intricacies of the scene for you. Cue the dishwashing.

Conversely, however, taking time out can kill a scene or idea. This is what happened to me. After jotting down my idea ("pure gold" remember), I headed off to Greenwich to watch some cricket on Sky at a mate's place. On the train ride, I managed to convince myself that the scene, as it played out after my dishwashing session, was not right. It had the wrong feel to it; it was completely out of sync with the feel and tone of the novel. The scene did need to be significant and stand out from the rest, but my idea was too extreme. So I binned it.

Which lead me back to the drawing board and I have just spent the last 45 minutes, sitting in front of my computer, thinking about how the scene could work, and getting no where. If only I could come up with the answer.

I think I'll iron my shirts.

BTW - for those of you who are interested in what my ditched dishwashing inspired scene was all about, it involved a mincer and a severed little finger.

If you are now disappointed that the scene was canned, it's probably a reflection of your good self. But fear not, sick puppies: if ironing the shirts doesn't work, the mincer might find its way back in.

The Open Road

Back in early October, I set myself the goal of completing the first draft of my novel by 19 December. That day is under 48 hours away and I am not yet in sight of the end, but I still feel pretty happy with what I've achieved recently:

• Winner of National Novel Writing Month - joining the thousands who completed 50,000 words in the month of November.


• Developed a much more structured and disciplined writing practice.


• Passed 200,000 words on my first draft.

Two hundred thousand words is a hell of a lot of writing (and waffle) and by my calculations, that makes me 80% of the way there. I'm expecting the last twenty percent to be completed quite quickly, anticipating that rush at the end that many authors talk about, when everything starts to come together, when the finish line is in sight and where I will be bounding out of bed in the mornings into my study, eager to keep cracking on with it. I haven't reached that stage yet, but I have caught glimpses of it, especially as I am now thinking a lot more about how to end this book.

Mark Billingham uses the analogy of driving through fog when talking about writing and plotting a book. He knows his destination but doesn't know how he will get there. He can only see into the fog as far as the reach of the headlights. The rest is unknown.

My approach to writing is similar, although, for this first novel, I do have a map. The fog is still there but I know pretty much the route I am taking. However, I still find the writing difficult. To take the analogy one step further, firing myself up to sit down and start typing is like starting a car engine on a cold morning, taking numerous attempts before it roars to life. Even with a map, the first few miles are sluggish, as if I know where I am going but I am stuck in slow moving traffic. I become bored and distracted and wonder whether it's worth making the trip at all. Then I see a gap in the traffic and I take it and end up on an empty freeway, with nothing hindering my progress, not even fog. I step on the accelerator and push the car to its limits, speeding along that empty road. That is the moment I really enjoy and I hope, as I approach the end of my journey, that the speed and exhilaration continues.

In other news, Borders booksellers in America have signed a deal with pubilsher HarperStudio that no longer allows the retailer to return unsold books back to the publisher. My first thought was that retailers would order a lot less books and steer clear from unknown and untested authors in order to reduce the risk of being stuck with unwanted stock. This would be bad news for authors all round. Sandra Ruttan, however, takes a more optimistic and informed view here.

It's Over But The Writing Continues . . .

Fifty thousand words and thirty days later: NaNoWriMo - done.

It was an immense challenge, but I surprised myself with my commitment and planning, ensuring that I kept up the word count, meeting and exceeding my daily quota of words on a regular basis. I also proved to myself that a regular writing schedule can be squeezed around a full time job, which has always been a big hurdle for me. In addition, not only did I develop some good writing habits, I took a big step forward towards finishing the first draft on my novel.

The writing doesn't stop there, though. I still have my target of finishing this first draft before dawn on the 19 December. The challenge is to keep the momentum going without the fun of a contest or without that feeling of camaraderie with other writers that is experienced during NaNoWriMo.

I'm doing it a little different for December too. I'm not aiming for the same word count each day because I don't want to rush the intricacies of the final quarter of the book. Instead, I have a goal of 90 minutes of writing a day. The first few days of December made me quite proud; despite a busy schedule at work, I met my 90 minute goal and exceeded 2,000 words in each sitting. The rest of the week has been a debacle due to increasing work commitments; no time spent on writing. Some catching up is required but I feel confident that I can do that over the next two weeks.

NaNoWriMo was a very beneficial experience and I learned a lot - as I suspect everybody participating did - so congrats to everyone else who took part - well done! Looking forward to next November.

Elsewhere on the planet, news of the Harrogate 2009 lineup has been published and for me, the highlight is the attendance of George Pelecanos. He would have to be one of my favourite authors, if not the favourite. His novels are a pleasure to read and are super cool. He is such a great guy too. The last time he was at Harrogate, he gave some inspiring words of advice that helped me kick start my novel and get over the fear of tackling such a big project. That advice was given to the general audience, so I hope I'll be able to sneak in a five minute chat with him at the bar next July, one on one. Quite an exciting prospect.

I'm not alone here: the ladies, especially those on Mark Billingham's forum, have their own reasons for getting excited about Mr Pelecanos's attendance:

Goal Related Anxiety

One of the blogs I religiously follow is written by Jo, a budding writer, who has developed her writing skills over the past year or so through consistent blogging. Recently she has been writing elsewhere on a daily basis, working on developing story ideas and to that end, she has completed her first short story. She also has many other ideas bouncing around her head, characters begging her for life, stories ready to be put to paper.

However, her latest blog entry suggests that she has gone even further and has walked blindly into the realm of the "serious" writer by committing a god awful act: she has set some goals.

Of course, I'm only joking; this is great news, an important step, and it indicates that she is thinking about doing more with her writing ability. However, now she is suffernig from some goal related anxiety.

Let me reassure Jo and any other anxious writers out there - it happens to us all. It's just part of the process. All writers feel that pressure building when they have writing goals to meet, whether they are self induced targets or those created by the signing of a multi-million pound contract. The anxiety manifests itself through the verbal or written commitment and what goes with it: worrying about whether you can come up with ideas, whether you can write something worth reading and whether you can deliver the final product on time.

As you may well know from reading my blog, I have a history of setting goals and not meeting them. Many blog entries have detailed my "new" approach to completing my novel. From all of these experiences, I have discovered that there are two key elements to dealing with goal anxiety: set realistic goals, and do the work!

Setting the goals is quite exciting, but you can get carried away, promise yourself the world and set unrealistic goals (e.g. watch 100 movies in a year). Unrealistic goals just adds to the anxiety - aiming too high can be disheartening if you constantly miss your targets; the more you fall behind, the bigger you see the challenge to get back on track. You may even give up or just set a whole bunch of new unrealistic goals - maybe even aim higher to make up for lost ground. This, obviously, won't help you.

Short term targets need to be achievable; you need to consider the time you have, the sacrifices you can make and what level of necessary pressure you need to exist. Short term targets form manageable stepping stones towards your ultimate goal and, in my opinion, your ultimate goal should be as over the top and as ambitious as possible. If the realistic stepping stones take you there, anything is possible.

Now this analysis of the validity of writing goals is in no means a reflection of Jo's chosen targets. The goals she has set are to complete a couple of short stories and to participate in this year's NaNoWriMo, a month long writing frenzy aimed at completing that one novel that's alludes so many people due to other commitments, excuses, etc. Jo's goals are very sensible and attainable - a few short stories will help develop her style, and NaNoWriMo is the perfect forum to develop a regular writing routine and practice writing under tight deadlines. Both goals are realistic and form the first few steps towards her dreams.

As for me, I need to practice what I preach. I've set another new goal: to complete the first draft of my novel by 19 December. It's a realistic goal given the circumstances and I am happy with it, but it's the last time I'm setting writing goals this year. No more moving targets - I either make it or not.

It's time to fulfill the second key element of dealing with goal anxiety - doing the work!!